A strange phenomenon occurred at the end of June on Tik Tok: a new trend started to form on AstrologyTok/WitchTok/ConspiracyTok about CERN turning on the Large Hadron Collider on July 5, 2022 for the tenth anniversary of the discovery of the Higgs Boson Particle. Astrologers, witches, tarot readers, etc were all suddenly making videos about July 5th being a “portal day,” and how the universe we’re currently occupying will collide with another and we’ll all be able to collectively jump timelines to a new reality. This is an optimistic spin on the more doomsday-flavored conspiracy theories making the rounds on the Internet at large. Shit got dark over on Twitter.
There were a few Tik Tok astrologers discussing the planetary transits occurring the first week of July, which they explained would make for some gnarly power dynamics to play out. For the most part, though, Zillennial TikTokers were excited about Run 3 of the world’s most powerful particle accelerator. Perhaps this is the real Vibe Shift we’ve all been waiting for. Perhaps this Collider will be what finally rescues us from this horrendous reality we’ve been living through the past few years.
July 5th CERN Doomsday theories likely had their origins connected to the premiere of the latest season of Stranger Things. The show did put the LHC in the news when it debuted in 2016. As with any conspiracy borne of the Internet, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly where the web of conspiracies started, but it sure is fascinating to see how each node branches out and evolves its own fringe network. I particularly love how Run 3 has evolved into a sort of folksy day to keep an eye on. Humans are exceptional at noticing and tracking patterns—indeed, we evolved this way so that we might learn and form neural pathways as quickly as possible—and people will be on high alert to track the aftermath of Run 3. The last time the LHC was turned on was in 2019. Given what followed over the course of the next year, many do believe CERN opened a hellish gateway that hurled us into one of the worst possible worlds, and so they are wondering if a pattern is unfolding. And if so, what strange new hell awaits us?
There’s a collective anticipation heavy with superstition, despite the event being centered on “hard science.” Although, anything remotely connected to quantum physics is so theory-/belief based, maybe it’s not all that hard of a science. Also the damn particle itself was pop-culturally dubbed the “God Particle.”
From this frenzied excitement—and fear—there have been spun several fables and myths formed by speculation on what might happen to the universe after the particles crash together. The legends of the 22nd, 23rd, 24th centuries will feature this event; CERN even sounds like the name of a mythical god or demon. I personally have a great time speculating on how future societies will adapt their rituals to transformational technologies developed today. Perhaps whatever long-term consequences resulting from the LHC runs (consequences that those of us living now will likely never live to really witness) will be so great that there will be rituals observed in the name of “CERN,” or “Hadron,” or even some variation on/combination of Higgs and Boson. So much of Western scientific nomenclature is based on myths of antiquity, it’s about time for the naming system to reverse and have the non-mythical, real life names act as signifiers in the folktales of the future.
Political toils of the moment are transitory. That’s probably a controversial thing to say since many believe the political decisions we make now have the potential to affect the rest of our entire fate as a human race, however, social human history does actually cycle through the same four phases every four generations or so (read this book to find out more). This not to say that it’s not important to care or become involved in politics—we can significantly improve our own lives, our children’s, and our children’s children’s lives by becoming active in political movements, which is enough reason to do so—but just that there’s a pendulum swing that is more often than not beyond our control. What matters most, I think, is the organization of meaning that we ascribe to significant changes to our collective reality. The way we order ourselves, our literature, philosophies, spiritual beliefs has the utmost influence on how we might respond to or handle the momentary strife. The noise of the Internet and social media has been grating and exhausting lately as we’ve cycled through an endless litany of “Current Things” to care and talk about. I prefer the #CERN trend and its transcendent discourse on the multiverse that is the folklore of the future unfolding today.
This post is so compact and punchy — I love it!
There could be a swing into the more religious. I frame it as "axiomatic" because you don't go out and prove your axioms. If you could, they wouldn't be axioms.
Although it's funny to imagine, it is possible that the collider could be devastating. Given that nuclear bombs are made by unlocking subatomic energy, to a casual science fan it doesn't seem too crazy that the LHC could end all of us.
But it wouldn't be so funny when people start taking things like BTC, the LHC, etc as having cosmic religious significance and refuse to budge even if you could show them evidence that they're wrong.